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Outfits from the blog But it can't be from Dolly Clackett. She gave me an Easter egg!

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2015-06-05
I only hate sunburn...

I only hate sunburn and hangovers. This is just business.
Fashion blog

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2015-06-01
I know I look square,...

I know I look square, but I'm like my father's tractor. I take a while to warm up, but once I get going I can turn your topsoil till the cows come home.
Fashion blog

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2015-05-26
Malcolm McDowell is...

Malcolm McDowell is trapped in the future. He's being pursued by a cyberpunk from the past, played by Rutger Hauer. Erm, terrible idea. No one will watch that. I've not thought it through, Lynn. I'll
Fashion blog

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2015-05-19
Charlie, tell the...

Charlie, tell the president he will eat his salad, and if he doesn't like it, he knows where he can put his salad.
Fashion blog

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2015-05-11
I'm a panhandle hick...

I'm a panhandle hick and my wedding will be just another panel on my mother's family history back tattoo.
Fashion blog

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2015-05-06
No wonder he changed...

No wonder he changed his name. You don't get many Nigel the Greats, do you?
Fashion blog

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2015-04-28
This wasn't amateur...

This wasn't amateur hour, Phil. People died because of your lack of supervision. There were raptors all up in the kitchen, Phil. IN THE GODDAMN KITCHEN.
Fashion blog

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2015-04-23
It's a beautiful,...

It's a beautiful, sunny day and we're in an opticians. It doesn't get any better than this.
Fashion blog

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2015-04-17
Farewell and adieu to...

Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain.
Fashion blog

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2015-04-12
Often, the good...

Often, the good suffer and the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying.
Fashion blog

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2015-04-02
If I worried about...

If I worried about what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I'd never leave the house.
Fashion blog

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2015-03-27
Do you know how hard...

Do you know how hard it is to fake your own death? Only one man has pulled it off: Elvis.
Fashion blog

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2015-03-21
I've always said...

I've always said humans need more animal blood. It keeps the spine straight.
Fashion blog

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2015-03-13
We're building...

We're building something here, detective. We're building it from scratch. All the pieces matter.
Fashion blog

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2015-02-28
When you think about...

When you think about it, thinking about thinking is the hardest sort of thinking there is, which makes you think.
Fashion blog

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2015-02-22
Peachy keen,...

Peachy keen, jellybean.
Fashion blog

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2015-02-18
Jealousy is a very...

Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless.
Fashion blog

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2015-02-10
I may have just burnt...

I may have just burnt the house down, but I made damn sure you were in it when I lit the match.
Fashion blog

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2015-01-26
Are you insane? Do...

Are you insane? Do you seriously expect me to wear grey out of season? I'd rather hang.
Fashion blog

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2015-01-20
A straight line may...

A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.
Fashion blog

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2015-01-16
This online slang...

This online slang dictionary says it's short for "amazing." Or it's a club drug made from a tooth whitener. Either way you win.
Fashion blog

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2015-01-10
I'm so gorgeous,...

I'm so gorgeous, there's a six month waiting list for birds to suddenly appear every time I am near!
Fashion blog

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2015-01-05
The important thing...

The important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking. Now, a Manhattan you shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time, a dry martini you always shake to waltz time.
Fashion blog

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2014-12-28
Aaaaah BRILLIANT! A...

Aaaaah BRILLIANT! A load of people in a stable, Ted. It's the one thing I didn't expect.
Fashion blog

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2014-12-15
He was one of the...

He was one of the good ones. Like Clint Eastwood in a beard, but fatter.
Fashion blog

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2014-12-09
Now's not the time to...

Now's not the time to discuss this, but I will need to eat your umbilical cord.
Fashion blog

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2014-11-25
I hope there was...

I hope there was enough shark meat in the refrigerator for one of your sandwiches.
Fashion blog

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2014-11-21
This leak business is...

This leak business is symptomatic of the moral decline of this country since the fall of the last Conservative government.
Fashion blog

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2014-11-06
They say that some of...

They say that some of his ears are inside his head and when he yawns it sounds like Liam Neeson chasing a load of hens around inside a barrel.
Fashion blog

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2014-10-31
I guess nice just...

I guess nice just ain't my colour.
Fashion blog

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2014-10-24
Sorry, Joan. Your...

Sorry, Joan. Your sandwiches exceeded the required six centimetres in width.
Fashion blog

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2014-10-19
Toscanini? Arturo...

Toscanini? Arturo Toscanini? That's the WORST recording of 'The Magic Flute' there's ever been! I wouldn't even let it in the house!
Fashion blog

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2014-10-15
And take someone who...

And take someone who can open doors with their head! Take Mitch!
Fashion blog

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2014-10-08
Some little girls...

Some little girls grow up wanting ponies; I always wanted to be a widow.
Fashion blog

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2014-10-01
Did someone talk...

Did someone talk about a job opening? Because guess who's got two thumbs and was just cleared of insurance fraud?
Fashion blog

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2014-09-27
Before you worked...

Before you worked here, were you an ass scientist? Because your ass... blah-blah-blah. You get the point.
Fashion blog

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2014-09-22
My grandmother was...

My grandmother was missing that tooth and she was the most beautiful woman on her oil rig.
Fashion blog

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2014-09-18
This bag is just full...

This bag is just full of knives and bras... and loose onions
Fashion blog

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2014-09-13
She was...

She was multi-tasking. It's a thing women can do. Like smelling nice and wrapping gifts.
Fashion blog

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2014-09-08
I engaged in sexting,...

I engaged in sexting, texting, and tex-mexting, which is when you take a picture of your genitals from the restroom of a Chili’s To Go.
Fashion blog

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2014-09-03
Ba-da Seuss, a palm...

Ba-da Seuss, a palm caboose, and a panda hop, and pantyhose, you look buppity, buttons and bowwwws!
Fashion blog

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2014-08-30
Today it's difficult...

Today it's difficult day for me at coffee shop, there is new stock coming and I have to cut the carrot cake.
Fashion blog

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2014-08-26
I’m too tired to...

I’m too tired to slap you, would you bash your face against my palm?
Fashion blog

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2014-08-20
Is there anything to...

Is there anything to be said for saying another mass? Oh god, I love saying mass.
Fashion blog

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2014-08-17
I don't want a...

I don't want a ladies' wetsuit. I'm a man! Give me a small man's wetsuit, please.
Fashion blog

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2014-08-13
Kin is people you've...

Kin is people you've gotta kiss, even if they have a moustache.
Fashion blog

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2014-08-09
Like when I say "Men...

Like when I say "Men are blinded by my beauty". They're not really blinded. They get their sight back in a day or two!
Fashion blog

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2014-08-06
Oh, for crying out...

Oh, for crying out loud. You see, that's what feminism does. It makes smart girls with nice birthing shapes believe in fairy tales.
Fashion blog

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